Tips for Saving Your Marriage
If you find your marriage is in trouble for one reason or another, you need to know that you have some great options for saving the relationship. The type of resources and tools used will depend on the reason for the trouble. For instance, if your spouse had an affair the counseling received would likely be geared very different from if you were simply having a lull in communication. Therefore, one of the first things that must be done is to identify the problem so you can get the right type of help.
Again, there are many reasons couples get into trouble in a marriage. Coming in second to infidelity is financial issues, which is a huge factor associated with divorce. In most homes, you have two people working full-time jobs to afford the house, the cars, the vacations, the kids, the bills, and so on. The truth is that most couples are overextended financially, meaning they are living on borrowed money, most commonly credit cards
When the amount of money going out is greater than the amount of money coming in, stress takes hold, which has a devastating affect on a marriage. Soon, couples begin to argue, disagreeing on where the money should be spent. Making the problem even worse is all the offers by mortgage companies, credit card companies, school loans, and other financial institutions, making borrowing easier than ever before. However, the problem reaches a level of being out of control, which is when the fighting begins.
If you and your spouse are on the verge of divorce because of finances, you need to both stop and realize that with good financial advice, financial management tools, and counseling, the marriage can be saved. In fact, working with a credit counseling company may be the ideal solution. With this, the counselors would act as the go-between for you and your creditors, setting up a repayment plan that will get you out of debt and on a schedule ahead of what you could do on your own.
Typically, saving a marriage doomed by finances is very possible but it takes two committed people, working as a team, making it all come together. Just remember, we strongly recommend you use some type of mediator. The reason is that the last thing you want is the blame-game to start between the two of you. You have to put your differences aside, stop blaming each other, and put a good plan in place to get out of debt and back on the right track. If you have gotten yourselves in the problem in the first place, chances are the two of you alone cannot get out of it. Therefore, you need to work with a financial advisor or financial counseling company that can assist.
Remember, you have two teams - the debt, and you and your spouse. At this time, the two of you need to join forces, come up with a plan, and work together. The process will require good communication, good planning, and again, dedication to seeing the plan through to the end. The good news is that because financial problems in marriages are such a huge problem, you have vast resources at your disposal.
Most importantly, the two of you have to open up the lines of communication. In most cases, the finances spiraled out of control because the two of you were not communicating. Therefore, your first step is to start talking. This means actually scheduling time where the two of you can sit down, face-to-face to talk about income versus debt. We recommend you find a quiet place without disruptions so you can focus. Then, put your emotional ties aside. Chances are, you will both feel guilty or even angry but remember, in fixing the problem these emotions have to be put in check.
Okay, you have a financial situation that needs to be fixed. Agree to meet this problem head on, doing whatever you have to do to get it under control. For a short time, it might mean one or both of you need to take a second job or perhaps you need to cut back on some of the luxuries you have become accustomed to but just keep reminding yourself this is just temporary. For instance, instead of cable television, you might need to watch basic programming for a while, or, instead of buying steaks, you grill hamburgers.
As you work on the financial issues, you will find that not only do you bring that part of your marriage under control but also that the marriage as a whole becomes stronger and better. Once you have your plan in place and you begin to see the changes associated with your finances, you will find the arguing lessens and the love grows.
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